There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
