That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
