is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
being pregnant is like rehab
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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