Are we in a gay sports bar?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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