I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
