Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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