Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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