It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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