Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
