My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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