I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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