On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize