There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
