i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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