you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
