I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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