She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BRING THE BAGELS
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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