He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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