She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize