I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
