That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
