We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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