it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How external is "for external use only"?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
