It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
