I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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