I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
