Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
