I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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