Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nicole vs. Life
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
