I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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