Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
