why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
