This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
