What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
