Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He passed out mid-signature
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
