I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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