I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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