do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
