ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize