So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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