I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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