I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When did angry sex become our thing?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
