I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
