You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
