i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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