Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize