Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
