just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
