fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
