kristin has been a bad kristin
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
