And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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