I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't deserve a penis
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
