I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
