he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize