She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
