i love accidental penises.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize