I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was like eating out sand paper
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize