Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
