Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
