I bet he comes in French.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
