If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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