So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
