Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
