so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
