if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
