hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
