Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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