my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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