Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
