I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
