i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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