I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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