How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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