You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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