Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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