Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
