no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
